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Adventures of Lupedog

Another Amazing Tripawds Three Legged Dog Blog

Adventures of Lupedog

Its been a month…

July 14th, 2012 · 8 Comments · Uncategorized

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I have had the same picture of Lupe on my desk at work for almost 10 years and I found a quote in a daily calendar I once had.  “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” – Louis Sabin.  Until the last month or so, I never fully understood how much richer my life was because I shared it with her.

It was 1 month ago today that I had to let Lupe go.  Truly not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, expect to see her when I walk into the door, or cry that she’s gone.  I had thought of so many things that I could do today to keep my mind of things, but honestly I don’t want to do a single thing.  I feel like garbage and completely numb.

An old friend and I had lunch yesterday and she told me that my attitude towards all that happened is amazing that I’m grounded and rational about it all.  If she could have seen the tears behind my sunglasses or felt the lump in my throat maybe she would have a different opinion.  I mean, it was no one’s fault and I’m not mad at anyone but I’m pissed that I lost my dog and I want her back!  I’ve noticed this angry feeling more over the last few days…I need to channel this anger, hopefully back to exercising or volunteering.

To my devine Miss L, words cannot express the void you have left in my life.  I thank you for all the joy you brought me and I’m truly sorry that all we tried didn’t help.  So many people were pulling for you, so many people who wanted you to happy and healthy, no one more than me.  I hope you are running free and getting belly rubs and ear scratches.  Know I miss you and that I love you my sweet stinkerdoodle.

Lupe at Daycare


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8 Comments so far ↓

  • Kathy L

    Oh, I just feel so bad for you and I do know how it feels especially to come back home to an empty house and not have them run to greet you. Sometimes I would stop and think I heard the jingle of a collar, sometimes I would want to believe it was just a dream and I would wake up with my dog there. You cared about your dog and that’s the way it should be and it says a lot about the person you are. It does take time and don’t try to push the grieving process. Do whatever it is that you want to do, and if you need to cry, just cry it out.

  • rizzobeans

    I have thought about you often in the last month. I know you don’t have another dog at home and I think that makes it even harder. Another dog or a cat at home somewhat distracts you at times when you’re home and missing Lupe. Grieving is a process that is different for everyone and I see that you are on here posting and helping other people which is so awesome. You could be selfish and never come on this site again, but you’re choosing to give back and help other people the way others tried to help you when Lupe was battling. I commend you for being that person whose heart is so heavy with sadness can still reach out to others and feel for them too. I truly believe that is Lupe’s and your love for each other shining through and I for one appreciate and admire you for it!

    All our Best, Suzie and TWP Rizzo

  • AngelAbbysMom

    I too want to say that I think it’s so great and commendable of you to keep coming back and to post cheerful, helpful messages to help others. It’s not easy to come back once we lose our beautiful furry family members and many aren’t able to.

    I also think it’s unfortunately really normal to be angry. I was so angry too! Our poor Abby was only 2 1/2. Stupid cancer. It doesn’t play fair.

    I think finding an outlet for your grief or anger is a good idea. For some people, just coming here and writing about their pups helps, and I hope you are finding that to help as well.

    Hang in there. The one month point is very hard! As someone who is a few months farther along than you in the journey, it will get a little easier – but it takes a lot of time!
    Jackie, Angel Abby’s mom

  • kviz

    My heart is breaking for you! I wish I could tell you that time makes it better. It didn’t …for me.

    But time does make it different.

    Time has made me determined to pay it forward for the beautiful life in which I had the privilege of participating.

    Rescue, foster, adopt, transport, volunteer, donate…or just go to your local shelter and take one dog for a walk. Sounds like you already have that plan. 🙂

    It has made a huge difference in how I handle the sadness. It really worked for me.

    Pegz and I wish you peace and loving memories.

  • hollybeans

    I’m so sorry. It’s just so difficult. Every milestone is hard…I am dreading the one month. I think you speak for everyone when you say “I mean, it was no one’s fault and I’m not mad at anyone but I’m pissed that I lost my dog and I want her back! ” It’s nearly impossible not to feel angry that this happened to your dog and to you….it’s not fair!

    Love this pic of her…she is such a cutie! I feel like in pictures I have seen of her, she is always looking into the camera….it’s like she’s posing! 🙂

  • evelyn

    You know, anger is one of the supposed stages of grief. A psychologist would tell you that you are moving along the path in a healthy way. Too bad it doesn’t feel healthy, huh? I won’t tell you that. I will just tell you that I know it sucks.

    Pegz’s person is right when she mentions so many ways you can participate in the life of a dog without feeling that you need to bring one home permanently. It’s a positive thing you can do for a dog and for you. I know one of our members, Angel, asked to foster a Great Dane when she lost her Dane Valentina. Perhaps something along those lines would be helpful. And walking dogs at the shelter is a phenomenal way to contribute without commitment.

    I’m sorry you are without your precious Lupe. We open our hearts to all they can pour in and then when they go we are left with broken hearts. But think of the alternative; think of never having experienced that love or of not caring. Broken hearts hurt, but they show how full your heart really is. Lupe helped make you into the compassionate, loving person that you are.

    Shari

  • lupedog28

    Thank you all for your comments and support. Having the Tripawds community has truly helped through Lupe’s battle and now coping with her loss. I can’t imagine not coming back and seeing how everyone is doing.

    I do feel blessed that I was able to share my life with her for almost 15 years. She was a sweet, goofy little girl who would put a smile on anyone’s face. My friend told me that Lupe was like a little worm who wiggled her way into your heart and never left. She’ll stay in mine forever.

    My goal over the next couple of weeks is to find a rescue group that I can volunteer for. I’m not ready to foster, the commitment and the money are just too much for me right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m ruling it out in the future 🙂

  • princess

    I love that quote. 2.5 months down the same track my life feels infinitely poorer now that Magnum is gone. I’d give up everything to have her back in my life.

    Good old grief. It’s a process that we just have to ride out the best way we can and in the way that works best for us. It gets easier but oh so slowly and then there will be days when it hits you like a steam train. I thought I was past the “guilt” phase but I just went through an abundance of it on the weekend.

    I’m so glad you are finding Tripawds helpful. I know I do too. There aren’t too many other people who truly understand what we are going through.

    Hang in there. Sending you lots of hugs.

    Karen and Spirit Magnum

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