Month: August 2012

Reunited with a good friend

Yesterday a close friend of mine called me at 8 am…there is usually never good news when the phone rings at 8 am on a Sunday morning.  She had just come back from the vet where she had to let her sweet chocolate lab mix Jaxx go.  Jaxx was diagnosed with a large malignant tumor on his chest wall back in March.  The tumor was inoperable and the vet wasn’t sure how long he had.

Jaxx and Lupe got along WONDERFULLY!  The met a couple of years ago and were never far away from each other when together.  Jaxx and Lupe saw each other for the last time the week of Lupe’s surgery, only about a week before she let go.  Jaxx was very gentle with her and seeing him just perked her up.

The last time I saw Jaxx he anxiously looked around my bag and sniffed me, looking for Lupe.  When he didn’t see her he whimpered, sighed and immediately put his head on my lap for a big ear scratch.  Gotta love who dogs just know things.

Jaxx and Lupe are now reunited…living it large and both pain free.  I’m so proud of Dawn for all she gave him over the years and how in the end she gave him the opportunity to let go and run free.  When they leave us their pain is gone and ours truly begins.

Be well brown dog…

Jaxx – a true gentleman and friend

Another milestone

Guess the hard day each month with be the 14th.  Two months ago today I let Lupe go.  I have thought back on that morning a lot lately and some of the reflections have not been good.  The “what if” moments are horrible and doubting decisions while hurtful is a part of grief and healing…hopefully a very short part of it.  I try to remember the good, the happy and the silly and to know that as much as it hurt me to let her go, keeping her would have hurt her even more.

I had a spirit reading last week and have had time to reflect on it a little.  One of the things the reader said is that she sensed a dog.  She described it as small and light colored…now all of my dogs have been under 20 pounds and most of them white.  This dog wasn’t white though.  She said it was adorable and looked like a stuffed animal, she focused closely on its face and then drew this.I honestly could not speak so we moved on.  At the end we came back to the dog and she said it wasn’t tan or beige but lighter than that, almost blonde and kind of scruffy.  She had first mentioned a terrier (which I have never had) and then said the breed was something with a “c” but not a collie.  Cocker spaniel?  Yes similar hair but not exactly…so I said cockapoo and she said yes.  This dog was being loved and held by women and she got a sense of true happiness when she looked at it.  There were other things she said but seeing her draw the face just floored me.  If our loved ones can come forward why wouldn’t they include our beloved animals?

So while I am sad today, I do feel comfort in knowing that she is happy, healthy, safe and warm in someone’s loving arms (reader hinted that the woman was either one of my grandmothers or my mom…and this was before she knew my mom had past).  And I continue on with my memories to keep me going and my tears to remind me that I have truly loved and been loved.  Be well my sweet Lupedog.

2 months post amputation

Today would have been Lupe’s 2 month celebration.  I think about the ups and downs we went through leading up to the surgery and the hope I had (along with Dr. B & Dr. Z) that removal of the bad leg would end her pain and give her a shot at normal…although I never considered that stinker normal 🙂  I remember dropping her off, kissing that horrible leg good bye and looking her in the eye and thinking, pull through little girl, mommy needs you.  Well, she did and she came out of surgery like a champ…walking around that night and even peeing outside and then walking back into the recovery ward.

I didn’t even realize that today was the 7th at first…I’ve been working away in my office, quiet and alone.  Now I know why.  G-d to have been able to celebrate this milestone with her today would have been awesome but it wasn’t meant to be.  Instead she is whole again celebrating with my Mom and Grandma (two of her favorite people because they always sneaked her food) and all of the Tripawd Warriors that have crossed the bridge.  Let the rumpus begin up there!!!