Had another AWESOME day volunteering with Shultz’s Guest House today. Rescue manager and I went to a small humane society event today, met great people and dogs and helped spread the word about the rescue. We went back to the farm and I was involved in the potential adoption of 4 dogs…2 of them are out on an overnight and the other 2 are considering options. This was my first time being involved in this aspect of volunteering and its pretty amazing to watch how the dogs just strut their stuff for potential adopters.
I’ve been meaning to post about a tripawd that SGH had a few weeks ago. Roxie is a 5 year old boxer mix. I never got a chance to meet her and they were hoping that I would because of my special girl. Roxie’s story is pretty amazing and she has found a wonderful forever home with a woman who works with people with disabilities. I think any tripawd pawrent will tell you that a tripawd is proof of the ability to overcome any and all odds. http://shultzsguesthouse.org/?adoptables=roxie
Night one of dog sitting Shilo and Koda is going pretty well. Koda got sick in her create today so I had the joy of cleaning that up…I had forgotten who stinky vomit was, oh well. Koda and I played fetch with her kong on a rope, both dogs have been fed and been outside for a while. Koda did pull a fast one on me though. I was bringing my stuff inside and when I went back outside I couldn’t find her. They are both on an electric fence but Koda could probably withstand running through the fence. I started to walk around the back of my car and out of my open trunk jumps Koda! She is pretty agile and extremely curious.
I’ve offered to house and dogsit for friends of mine who have 2 dogs…a 9 year old collie mix and a 1 year old pittie. These are actually the friends that loss their lab mix, Jaxx, last month to a tumor in his chest. I went over yesterday to go through instructions (walking, feeding, alarm, etc). and this is what I found…
Someone figured out the toilet paper is a great toy. Its easy to figure out who did it. Shilo is sweet and chill (stinky breath though). Koda is all puppy…has no concept of her size, strength or where in space her body is. This should be an interesting weekend…me and 2 big dogs out in the country. Lupe and Jaxx are going to be looking down at us howling with laughter…
Yesterday a close friend of mine called me at 8 am…there is usually never good news when the phone rings at 8 am on a Sunday morning. She had just come back from the vet where she had to let her sweet chocolate lab mix Jaxx go. Jaxx was diagnosed with a large malignant tumor on his chest wall back in March. The tumor was inoperable and the vet wasn’t sure how long he had.
Jaxx and Lupe got along WONDERFULLY! The met a couple of years ago and were never far away from each other when together. Jaxx and Lupe saw each other for the last time the week of Lupe’s surgery, only about a week before she let go. Jaxx was very gentle with her and seeing him just perked her up.
The last time I saw Jaxx he anxiously looked around my bag and sniffed me, looking for Lupe. When he didn’t see her he whimpered, sighed and immediately put his head on my lap for a big ear scratch. Gotta love who dogs just know things.
Jaxx and Lupe are now reunited…living it large and both pain free. I’m so proud of Dawn for all she gave him over the years and how in the end she gave him the opportunity to let go and run free. When they leave us their pain is gone and ours truly begins.
Guess the hard day each month with be the 14th. Two months ago today I let Lupe go. I have thought back on that morning a lot lately and some of the reflections have not been good. The “what if” moments are horrible and doubting decisions while hurtful is a part of grief and healing…hopefully a very short part of it. I try to remember the good, the happy and the silly and to know that as much as it hurt me to let her go, keeping her would have hurt her even more.
I had a spirit reading last week and have had time to reflect on it a little. One of the things the reader said is that she sensed a dog. She described it as small and light colored…now all of my dogs have been under 20 pounds and most of them white. This dog wasn’t white though. She said it was adorable and looked like a stuffed animal, she focused closely on its face and then drew this.I honestly could not speak so we moved on. At the end we came back to the dog and she said it wasn’t tan or beige but lighter than that, almost blonde and kind of scruffy. She had first mentioned a terrier (which I have never had) and then said the breed was something with a “c” but not a collie. Cocker spaniel? Yes similar hair but not exactly…so I said cockapoo and she said yes. This dog was being loved and held by women and she got a sense of true happiness when she looked at it. There were other things she said but seeing her draw the face just floored me. If our loved ones can come forward why wouldn’t they include our beloved animals?
So while I am sad today, I do feel comfort in knowing that she is happy, healthy, safe and warm in someone’s loving arms (reader hinted that the woman was either one of my grandmothers or my mom…and this was before she knew my mom had past). And I continue on with my memories to keep me going and my tears to remind me that I have truly loved and been loved. Be well my sweet Lupedog.
Today would have been Lupe’s 2 month celebration. I think about the ups and downs we went through leading up to the surgery and the hope I had (along with Dr. B & Dr. Z) that removal of the bad leg would end her pain and give her a shot at normal…although I never considered that stinker normal 🙂 I remember dropping her off, kissing that horrible leg good bye and looking her in the eye and thinking, pull through little girl, mommy needs you. Well, she did and she came out of surgery like a champ…walking around that night and even peeing outside and then walking back into the recovery ward.
I didn’t even realize that today was the 7th at first…I’ve been working away in my office, quiet and alone. Now I know why. G-d to have been able to celebrate this milestone with her today would have been awesome but it wasn’t meant to be. Instead she is whole again celebrating with my Mom and Grandma (two of her favorite people because they always sneaked her food) and all of the Tripawd Warriors that have crossed the bridge. Let the rumpus begin up there!!!
After researching a bunch of rescue groups in the greater Boston area, today I did my volunteer orientation at a small rescue group in Dedham (http://shultzsguesthouse.org/). They currently have 7 dogs, which will soon be 6 as one is being adopted out this weekend, on this amazing farm in the suburbs. I got to go on 2 hikes through the woods with the dogs, the first was in a group of 7 dogs and the second was 4 dogs. The second walk was pretty amazing as it was just me, the dog I was walking, the rescue manager, the dog she was walking and her 2 dogs (off leash). I got to tell them a little about Lupe and there were no tears, just smiles.
I have another orientation on Saturday for another group, a little larger, so it will be interesting to see how different the 2 are. I’m glad that I am able to give back to other dogs for all that Lupe gave me. I’m exhausted but so happy. I know my girl is looking down at me, proud that I have found an avenue to get rid of some of the anxiety and stress that have come into my life since Lupe got sick and earned her wings.
I have had the same picture of Lupe on my desk at work for almost 10 years and I found a quote in a daily calendar I once had. “No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.” – Louis Sabin. Until the last month or so, I never fully understood how much richer my life was because I shared it with her.
It was 1 month ago today that I had to let Lupe go. Truly not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, expect to see her when I walk into the door, or cry that she’s gone. I had thought of so many things that I could do today to keep my mind of things, but honestly I don’t want to do a single thing. I feel like garbage and completely numb.
An old friend and I had lunch yesterday and she told me that my attitude towards all that happened is amazing that I’m grounded and rational about it all. If she could have seen the tears behind my sunglasses or felt the lump in my throat maybe she would have a different opinion. I mean, it was no one’s fault and I’m not mad at anyone but I’m pissed that I lost my dog and I want her back! I’ve noticed this angry feeling more over the last few days…I need to channel this anger, hopefully back to exercising or volunteering.
To my devine Miss L, words cannot express the void you have left in my life. I thank you for all the joy you brought me and I’m truly sorry that all we tried didn’t help. So many people were pulling for you, so many people who wanted you to happy and healthy, no one more than me. I hope you are running free and getting belly rubs and ear scratches. Know I miss you and that I love you my sweet stinkerdoodle.
I’ve been trying to thing of witty remarks and cute comments on how to mark what would have been Lupe’s 1 month ampuversary but honestly I can’t. All I could think of was the asterick that people talked about after Barry Bonds hit his homeruns…the joys of being a baseball fan. The asterick seems fitting to me because if our sweet ones are restored after they leave us, that means Lupe is running around on all fours with both of her eyes.
I spent the 7th with good friends who I haven’t seen in a while, back up at their “camp” in the Adirondacks. I was reminded of good times, how things change and how this year I wasn’t worried about Lupe being okay so far away. I know she’s okay, she’s surrounded by so many loved ones and friends (both human and furry).
Honestly, not a day doesn’t go by when I get the lump in my throat multiple times, where I don’t feel like I’ve been kicked in the stomach, where I don’t look foward to opening the door and seeing that wiggly butt or sweet sleeping dog. But I have begun to notice that there are more smiles when thinking of her.
So I had some friends come into town from Albany (NY not GA) this weekend. My friend Polly has two silky terriers (Francesca & Molly) and she brought them with them. I was anxious to have dogs in my apartment again but it ended up being amazing. I put Lupe’s beds away, I wasn’t ready to have another dog on them, but Francesca and Molly had free reign of the place. They played with Lupe’s old toys, used her bowls, chilled on the furniture and even went on some of her old walks. It was great and so helpful for me. Of course I couldn’t help thinking about how it would have been to have Lupe meet and chill with them, but it was like Lupe was with us.
When they left, I sent the girls home with some of Lupe’s toys that they happily played with and a couple of her extra leashes. I also decided not to put Lupe’s beds back out. They are put away but near my bed…in case she needs to snooze while watching over me. I also bought some frames to hang up so pictures of her because I have none in my place, she was here, I didn’t need pictures of her. I also bought a shelf that I’m going to have my neighbor hang up over her favorite chair in the living room, I’ve decided its where I will put her ashes, along with one of my favorite pictures of us and the card of her pawprint.
The apartment is quiet without the 2 monkeybutts but its okay. This is my new normal and I’m slowly (very slowly) getting used to it.
Today is Lupe’s 15th birthday! The last few years she always got extra belly rubs and frosty paws ice cream…was truly one of her favorite treats. Its hard not to have her here to sing happy birthday to her, to laugh as she got a doggie brain freeze from the ice cream and to hold her and give her those extra special birthday belly rubs.
But I do know I was blessed with a sweet, goofy and loving little girl for almost 15 years and I am so thankful for that. She’s probably living it up today with all her old and new friends and family. 2 weeks without her seems like an eternity but 14+ years with her was amazing!
If you wouldn’t mind giving your fuzzy ones an extra treat and belly rub for her today…that would be really meaningful to me. In honor of her today, I’m having ice cream for dinner 🙂
Happy birthday Pooh-Bear, Mommy loves and misses you!